Alberta-Bound

It would appear that I did not post my blog about Calgary.

DUH!!!!!

So sorry folks. I am the worst bestie ever!!

Here goes:

I finished work on the 8th of March at 130pm. I had a brutal sore throat for three days. I picked up A to hang out before I left for almost a week. We hung out at my place and I tried to relax since I was sick. Eventually he came with me to the walk in clinic and I got expensive!! drugs for my throat.

I hung out with him that night and dropped him off at his place late that night. I was gonna miss him but I was sooooo excited to see RR and JR. I went home and texted A while I packed some stuff.

The next morning I took the train to Faja's house and he picked me up at the station. Two hours of travel to get there. I was at his place for a couple hours and during that time I transferred my stuff from my duffel bag to Faja's suitcase. I went online and picked my seat (17F) and checked in. We left shortly after and drove half an hour to Hamilton's airport. I checked my bag and my dad and I got Tim Hortons while we waited a bit. With an hour til I started to board I decided to go through security since I was nervous about it because I never had before. Got through there fairly uneventfully. Waited for an hour then started to board.

Showed the girl my license and my boarding pass. Walked outside to the ramp. Up the ramp to the plane. Showed the flight attendant my boarding pass and she vaguely pointed. Walked down the aisle, found my seat, got stuff I wanted out of my PeTA bag, and threw my bag in the overhead thing. Sat down and put my seatbelt on. Played with the tv a bit. Waited forever and ever.

Then we started driving down the runway slow-ish. I drive faster. Then we turned around and started going back up the runway. Fast. Faster. And up.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Best feeling ever! It's so awesome. The butterflies in my stomach were going nutso with the lift-off. It was a cool thing to be on my first plane ride by myself. I felt so brave :)

Then a million years later we started to go down and we landed. I was SOOOOO excited. I txted my facebook status to let ppl know I made it safe and I gathered my stuff, walked off the plane, on a ramp, into the airport.

I was there!

I saw a sign that said baggage and just kept following those signs. Eventually I went down an escalator and through automatic doors.... and there they were.

MY BESTIE AND HER HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sooooooooooo excited to see them. I hugged RR and JR and they gave me my favourite frap from Starbucks that they had brought me. Yum-o and so sweet :)

JR grabbed my bag and we went to the car. We drove to their house and I finally got to see where they live. I walked around their house taking pictures of me in their house. :) We had some food and played rockband and eventually went to bed.

Next morning I woke up wayyyyy too early. Early for Alberta time and early for Ontario time so it sucked balls!!

R and J had to work that day so I washed dishes, played rockband, and entertained myself for the day while was nice. :) R picked me up after work and we went to get J. We played rock band, had dinner, and hung out that night I think.

Friday R had off but J worked. I can't remember if that's the day we went shopping. Yeah, I think it was. We went to two malls. I bought extensions, we got lunch, we chatted about boys :) we went to another mall.

Oh my gosh. I heart this mall. They had Sephora, MAC, Teaopia, Lush, and so many other amazing stores. I got a cropped, off the shoulder top to wear over tanks that says "I (heart) my bf" and we got some exfoliation done at Lush. We  tried a bunch of makeup at Sephora on our hands. We walked the entire mall, got some ice cream and left. It took us quite a while :)

We got back too late to cook for our husband like good wifeys so we went to pick him up and made dinner when we got back I think. I think we went bowling that night. If so, we went to this sketchy bowling place that was hard to find. We got pizza and it was delish! We played two and a half games. I won them all!!! Just kidding. I like to think we all won in our own way! lol.

Saturday we made a cake. And ate it. The whole thing. So delish! I think we went to the general store this day. I got some cool stuff. We had a girls night and watched House Bunny and did face masks :) And we crocheted!! We're hard core!

Sunday we worked on headbands during the day. Josh should've napped but didn't. We went to dinner at a vegetarian/vegan/raw restaurant and had the best dinner ever. We both LOVED being able to go somewhere and not disect the menu for "safe" stuff for us to eat. It was incredible!! R had a calzone and I had a quesidilla. It was soooo good! We did my photoshoot that night. It took us a couple hours but I love the pictures. They were awesome!! R is such a great photographer! :)

Monday. Time to go home. :( R drove me to the airport super early! I don't wish to discuss this part cause it bums me out.

I'm sure I left stuff out but as I remember I'll add in. I had a great time with my best friends :) I love hanging out with both of them and it was such a great week. I was excited to go, sad to leave, and missed waking up in my room there when I got back. :(

I get to see RR in a few weeks when she comes to visit but I'll only see her one day and it's not the same. Boo! I hope to go there again before she moves back because I not only enjoyed spending lots of time with her and J, but I loved their town and Calgary.

I miss it so much. I miss them so much.

Love you guys!!

Fuck You

Yet again that fucking moron that is dating my ex messages me.

FUCK OFF!!!!

Oh my gosh. Get a fucking life. Seriously.... why on earth do you not have anything better to do than bug me. Pick up a fucking book, turn on the tv, go for a walk. Find. A. Fucking. Hobby.

Cause You're Amazing, Just The Way You Are

I cannot remember the last time I felt this happy in a relationship.

I've never felt like someone was so right for me. I talked to RR when I visited her last month about how it's so surprising and odd for me to hear A compliment me so much, so often, so sweetly. She said she was so happy for me that I finally have that, but that she was sad for me that it wasn't the norm, and that I found it strange.

That led me to thinking about how little I got that in the past. I'm not saying that any of my past relationships were douchebags or anything. Well... no we'll just leave it at that. But I was never treated as well as A treats me. Normally my bitch side comes out in a relationship. Or I walk all over the person. When you don't have that connection, or you don't feel they care about you it's easy to do that.

I worried with A being such a sweet, kind person, that I'd bring out the bitch, or walk all over him and I don't think I have. I've warned him about it but he just keeps saying that I'm not like that with him. Which is so bizarre for me. He's just so sweet and I don't want to be like that to him.

I'm so crazily happy these days. I miss him when I'm not with him. As soon as I leave, I can't wait to be with him again. I want to spend all my time with him just being with him, getting to know him better, and sharing who I am with him. I want him in my day-to-day, I want him in my life.

I think I may have been corrected on my disbelief in love at first sight.

Truly Madly Deeply

Hanging out with someone for a few hours here and there is ENTIRELY different than living with someone. I know this. I've lived with many different people. Some I enjoyed living with, others I wanted to strangle. I won't differentiate which was which.

Spending a weekend with someone... like 24 hours a day/all weekend with someone is different than living with them or hanging out for a few hours.

I think spending a full weekend with someone is a bit of a sneakpeek of what living with them might entail. You see how late they stay up, how late they sleep in, if they prefer showering at night or during the day. You find out how and what they like to eat, what they prefer to drink, how many times they pause a movie to pee or smoke. You find out what small things annoy them, and what little things they do that may annoy you. You get a look at their day to day quirks. You see how helpful they can be.

I got this sneakpeek with A this weekend. My parents went away so he came to keep me company/help me take care of the dogs and Boog. He cam more just to hang out/spend time with me I guess. It was nice being able to hang out and do nothing. MM took us to Walmart because Boog wanted to get a new movie with birthday money and A bought Avator and Eclipse so we watched the first half of Avatar and then Eclipse once Boog went to bed. I fell asleep during Eclipse since I was wiped and I've seen it before.

We hung out for a bit in the hot tub to try to help my ankle that has been hurting off and on for a month. Ugh! I made A and Boog pancakes for breakfast but neither of them liked them so that sucked. I made broccoli and cheddar soup, chicken, and mashed potatoes for dinner. MM and TH are always appreciative when I cook when the parents are gone. TH actually requested the soup when she found out the parents were leaving and I'd be cooking. :)

We watched Paranormal Activity. A is uneasy in my house because he feels like there's something in it, and more than one. I feel safer in that house than I have any others I've ever been in so I assumed my uncle was the spirit in it because I feel secure there but maybe not. I've always felt something there but I never thought there might be more than one. Hmm.

I'm glad I got to spend the weekend with him so I could learn little things about him.

I found out how he likes his eggs, that he likes coffee to be made disgustingly, and that he compliments my makeup after watching me put it on. I found out that he likes to skip to a new song before the one he's listening to is on, which I tend to do. I found out he likes to watch silly videos online. I found out that even when spending 24 hours a day with me, he still compliments me all of the time. I found out he prefers to sleep against a wall which is tricky since I do too. I found out he's a little too sensitive and I worry how he'll take my dad's joking. I found out he can be a little snappy when annoyed. I found out that he asks me what's wrong as soon as my mood changes, before I've said a word...  he's very good at sensing mood shifts. I found out he apologizes when he realizes he's hurt my feelings. I found out I care about him more today than I did yesterday, and I will tomorrow more than today.

Grinding My Gears

Wanna know what I love?
My sarcasm.

Wanna know what else I love?
Having to windex picture frames/glass because they reek of nicotine and feel disgusting as a result of said nicotine. Fifty million papertowels and my vegan/animal cruelty free mint glass cleaner later... they're better.

But ugh. Which makes me not such a fan of A being a smoker too. But at least at his mom's he smokes outside.

I've gotten rid of most stuff left over anywhere from other people. Went through my scrapbook/sketchbook now that I got that back and I've gone through and ripped out pages and removed pictures. Ahhh. How cathartic. :)

You Treat Me Like I'm A Princess

"Head Over Feet"

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault


I love how there's always a song that seems to totally "get" your life or situation you're currently in.
This song totally sums up everything I'm feeling right now.

I keep wanting to text him, call him, see him, write about him, etc. I'm dying to paint or draw right now too. It's been so insanely long since I've been this inspired to write, draw, or paint. He inspires me so much! And everytime I hear him say something nice about me, I start to believe it more and more.

Everytime I can see him looking at me as I drive out of the corner of my eye, it makes me smile and I realize that I am beautiful to someone. Not just my family, or my 3 best friends, but this person who hasn't known me that long genuinely thinks I'm beautiful. It's such an incredible feeling.

And I feel so special that I'm cared about so much and I'm beautiful to someone that is so incredible, that's so wonderful, someone who is such a great person, someone that I find so incredibly attractive both outside and in.

Sigh of contentment and wonder.

-Tee

And Don't Be Alarmed If I Fall Head Over Feet...

I made of pof account. 3 or 4 people im'd me that evening. Some smart, cool guy who stopped talking after half an hour so whatever. A SUPER annoying 33 year old who made me want to off myself or him. And then A.

Sigh.

I. Freaking. Adore. A.

He's so unbelievably sweet o me. I smile when I think about him. He's clearly crazy about me. We click. There's not doubt in if he likes me or not. He's so adorable. He is a bit too insecure, and for no bloody reason! We like a lot of the same movies. He loves metal which I like. It's been so long since I listened to it regularly. My mom seems to like him. He gets along with MM and TH. Veronica likes him. Boog already remembers his name and it's a tricky one for him. Boog thinks A is "berry cool" and let A help lift him.

I'm just so happy.

A and I started talking on the 25th for 12 hours straight, all throught the night. The next few days was similar. Talked all day long. On the 28th we met for our first date and it was perfect. The next day we hung out together for over 12 hours. The next day was similar again. The day after that I went to Toronto with TB for birthday hang outs - dinner and a wicked dance/acting/music show. :) I worked the next two days, but on the second day shift, I went to A's mom's house after work and we hung out and I ended up getting snowed in and staying over. He asked me to be his girlfriend that night. :) I went to work the next day for my two overnights and picked A up after I finished work. We hung out since I was leaving for my trip to go to Alberta the next day. He went with me to the walk in clinic since I had symptoms of strep throat. I had a fever and was freezing so in the waiting room A held my hands to warm them up, and hugged me to keep me warm. He went into the appointment with me after asking if I'd like him to which was so sweet. I'm glad he came with me since I don't like doctors/hospitals and especially not going alone.

So moral of the story is I'm so into A. Our first date was quirky and fun. :) Go to the button at the top of the page to read how our first date went. :)

Old Post... Wrote It Down but Never Posted

I don't understand how if you can supposedly love someone, you can treat them so awfully and talk to them with so much disrespect. All the times that I'm the one who has to initiate calls, texts, messages, visits, and I get sworn at, yelled at, and disrespected because I'm not able to talk on the phone at certain situations. I am baffled that conversation happened as it did. I was completely freaked out on and out of nowhere. And trying to be calm and not hang up was impossibly hard. Maybe I should have hung up. And if I had've hung up he probably wouldn't talk to me ever again. Which is why I didn't. But it seems unfair that I have to be subjected to that disrespect and hatred because if I hang up, I turn into the bad person.

Another post:

Sometimes I wish i stayed in Belleville. At least I knew a few people. It's especially frustrating that I'm single but can't date. But I don't know how much longer I intend to do that. Sometimes I wish M was still at the bank. It was nice having someone want to talk to me. Now I only get someone "missing" me when they're cold. Gee, thanks! It's frustrating being in this attached/unattached limbo and feeling insecure and unsure while he's hanging out with girls constantly. He has friends, he "has" me, so why does he feel the need to constantly add new girls onlline. And now that I've stopped being so open with who's calling and texting me he asks who is just as much if not more than me. he's so hypocritical about how we act. He always blames me, says I'm worse, says I'm jealous and nosey, but when he is... it's totally okay. I'm sick of the hypocritical double standards of this fucked up mess. And I'm sick of the bullshit of R, L, K, and whoever the fuck is next. I'm sick of the crying, sleepless nights, stress, anger, hurt, and insecurity. I'm still dealing with all of this bullshit and I'm not even in a committed relationship. Done with the lying, done with the crap. Which is why he's paying attention, starting to notice my pulling away, my detachment from this "situation" and now he's putting effort in. After two years of shit, I've learned the only time he checks in is when I check out. I'm sick of joining in again once he finally gets around to being apart of this thing. Not gonna happen much longer. Fuck I wish I didn't still care about him. But it's definitely fading. Which is probably the best for me and my heart. He says he loves me but if he does, why doesn't he treat me like I deserve to be treated? Am I such an awful person that I don't deserve to be treated like a princess?

Another post:

On Friday, February 25th, I finally had enough. B fucked our hang out plans because to wanted to go "have fun" and "honestly you'll be jealous if you're there or not" - uhhhhh, fuck you then. I said find and that I wished he hadn't have wasted my time. Don't say you want to date me if you don't actually want to. He said fine we won't date then. Yeah, no fucking shit! I pretty much knew he was gonna ditch me that day he finally made a decision or the day before. Icing on the cake was when I asked him a question and he said he wasn't talking about it anymore or he'd stop talking entirely (oh no, what a shame) and then said "btw, I'm going to college in Kingston anyway." Where the fuck did that come from/why do I care? So I asked where that came from. Response: "what part of I'm done talking about this didn't you get?" Ex-fuckin-cuse me?? Yeah, then end.

Perma-Smile :)

I am so happy right now.

Nothing has ever been this easy, this simple. The connection is crazy... the similarities are quirky and cute... and the effort is non-existant. It just fits.

I'm so ready for something this fun, simple, amazing. Why on earth did I settle for so long?

(Insert happy sigh here)

-Tee