And Amb... In that post I didn't mean he guilted me into getting over it. I meant that I was trying to guilt trip him. I don't feel guilty about anything. And that's all I'm going to say right now about your comment. I need to take a bit to digest. It was rather intense. I don't hate you. I'm a little not so happy that you messaged him directly. I appreciate your honesty and I definitely don't hate you but I do see things in him you don't. And I'm not the only one doing dating-like things... He does too. Also I told him only once or twice that I was doing a blog because I was planning on using that as my venting about life and I didn't know if I wanted him or a few others I intend to vent about reading it so I didn't bug him numerous times about it. I don't want to go through your comment and rebuttal everything ad defend him so I'm gonna stop now. Just know that I hear what you're saying.
B - I appreciate that you read them and it's up to you if you continue. I doubt they'll say much about you. I'm not going to apologize for anything I said because it's my feelings and venting, and I'm glad you could see that and weren't bothered by my posts.
That's it for now.
-Tee
Firstly, know that you are not the only person who felt sick to her stomach over this conversation. I was up all night feeling terrible. Wondering what you were going through.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I hate that you were crying all night and didn't call/text/message either of your best friends. We WANT to be here for you. I wish you would let me be here for you.
Thirdly, I messaged him directly with the hopes that I can show him how badly his words and actions hurt. I was HOPING they would mean something to him, and he would step up to the plate and make more of an effort, and we could move on and try to make a relationship work with all of us. Of course, he responded very rudely, very defensively, and now, he is no longer welcome in my home, around me or my kids. That only makes things worse for you, but I will not apologize for that, as it was his doing.
I hate how it has become me versus him. I look at your top bar of pictures and I see three great friends to you and I cringe knowing that he is in that top bar.....that he has hurt you so much, so many times, and yet makes the cut. I know that is your choice, and I respect it. For that reason, I think I am going to back off your blog for a bit and take some time to just breathe. I will keep reading but will keep my opinions to myself after this post. So when I don't comment on anything, please don't think I am ignoring, I am just attempting to make your life easier.
At the end of the day, know that I love you. What I said yesterday (to you and him) were said because I love you. I want to be here for you. Your have so many wonderful qualities and I have always been proud to call you my best friend, and Auntie to my kids. I don't want that change, I simply want what is best for you. What makes you happy 100% of the time.
I wasn't crying all night, I was in the evening when I read your message. I thought it best to not text you guys because I needed to take a bit and digest without being angry or upset.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand why you messaged him, but I just wish I had've known because I was very surprised. I don't know what he responded with and it sucks that he was rude and defensive. I completely understand, and I wouldn't expect you to apologize for that.
I don't think of it as you versus him and I hope you won't either. And as much as he has hurt me, my other friends have too... some of them quite a few times.
I won't try to explain my thoughts, feelings, etc about why I don't want to cut him out of my life because I know when other people try to explain why they love their spouse that I think is a tool, I just find it pointless because I can't see what they see. So I'm just going to hope that you'll be happy for me with whatever decisions I make and I'm going to hope that it all works out for the best.
If you want to not comment, I'm of course totally fine with that. But if you do want to comment, don't hold back for fear of "making it worse for me". I want you to always feel free to say what you want to say.
I love you too. I know why you said what you said and I appreciate it. And I can't have what makes me happy 100% of the time... you're married. ;) But I know what you're saying and I do take it to heart. I love having you as a best friend and being Auntie to your kids.