So Fucking Sick Of This Shit

Don't you think that when you break up with someone... three years later they and their girlfriend should maybe stop messaging you, harrassing you, and being fucked up douchebags in general. I would think so. I'm getting so unbelievably tired of the bullshit. I've blocked them from facebook, msn, and now apparently youtube. Grow the fuck up! I don't understand why after three years, their life would be so awful that you need to obsess with trying to make mine hell. It's annoying as fuck. And of course I don't want to ask mutual friends why the fuck they're doing this because I don't want to involve them as I tried my damn hardest when I broke up with him to not ever say anything bad to mutual friends. And I think I've succeeded. Anyway the latest just pissed me off and I needed to vent...

UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Tee

Weekend :)

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I was up all night last night. Haven't pulled an all nighter in a while and it wiped me out. But it was worth it for the conversation that caused it. :)

So tomorrow is Boog's swimming party and our birthday dinner. I'm working til 130pm so I'll take K and S to K's skating lesson, and then I'll be dropping S off and taking K with me to Boog's swimming party where Bumblebee will be which is awesome since we haven't got to hang with him in forever!

After swimming we'll go back to our house and Bumblebee is getting picked up. Then we'll have our family birthday dinner and such and I'll take K home.

The next day I'm getting my hair done by Tree. So excited to have it bleached out again :) Insert cringes and bitching here for all my family and friends that find it a crime against humanity to dye naturally red hair... let alone BLEACH IT!! Yeah yeah, if it was your hair, you'd get bored of it too.

After that I'm gonna go home or book my trip to go see RR!!!!!!!!!!!! More on that some other time.
If I don't have time Monday I'll do that Tuesday. Then I'm gonna get Boog of the bus and hang with him for a bit.

In the evening I'm going to Tim Hortons with A. I'm excited for it.. I love steeped tea. I wish there was a teaopia that was freestanding and not in the mall. :(

I'm falling asleep so I'll have to write another post a little better tomorrow at some point. Night kids.

-Tee

For Eff Sakes

Fuck!!! Some people are so infuriating, frustrating, and such douchebags. That is all.

Third time was not the charm and I'm glad to be done.

Tomorrow is a new day and I fully intend to embrace that.

It's My Birthday @ I'll cry/bitch/moan If I Want To!

I'm officially 23 today. :) I got lots of nice birthday wishes from some of the people most important to me which was nice.
I'm going skating in an hour with a friend of mine and then swimming and the mall later :)
Have a great family day weekend guys.
-Tee

Exercise on my bday weekend

Quick post...
Birthday dinner: spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, ice cream cake
Presents: $60 for my trip, $20 HBC gift card, notebooks, photo album

Mega exercise today: half hour in work out room - bike, rower, all in one strength trainer
half hour jillian michaels wii game
fifteen minutes michael jackson game
five - ten minutes just dance game
half hour swimming laps in pool

The Number 23

Might blog more later but just wanted to say that I'm in Burlington until Monday for my birthday/my dad's birthday weekend. I didn't bring my laptop so I'll just be emailing my blogs in from my celly. I'll let you guys know what I do tomorrow for my second birthday.

I had my first batch of birthday last weekend with The Ws. I suppose the movie with B was sorta celebrating my birthday too. Now this weekend I'll celebrate with my dad's family. Then next weekend I'm celebrating mine and Ryan's birthdays with my mom's family.

Go-train ride with Wee-ah was entertaining since I found out amusing info from her and I watched a bunch of people miss trains while I waited for her. Which isn't nice but whatever... Also people running in suits and heels (and I mean sprinting) is kind of entertaining.

The end.

-Tee

Hoarders, The #23, Kids, Respite, Volunteering, Cliches....

I'm attempting to work on my hoarding. I managed to wake up at a decent time today and went through an entire box of paperwork and filed a quarter of it, have to file another quarter of it, and recycled the other half. Yay me!

I'm getting so much better at throwing stuff out or donating stuff. I've taken sooo much to value village in the past year. I keep EVERYTHING so I'm trying to go through everything I own and assess what I need, love, want, don't need, etc.

I've gotten rid of a lot of things people gave me that I felt obligated to keep. I got a book on how to go through clutter and make your home tidy and organized.

Which is what I want. I want my basement to be tidy and clean and pretty. I'm working on it. I've painted 90% of it and only have a few sections of wall left in my office and "kitchenette" to do. I've weeded out a bunch of knick knacks except for ones I absolutely love... But I'm going to spraypaint them all the same accent colour to make it all more cohesive. I'll have to take before and after pics. I took pictures a while ago as before ones.

Anyway so I brought some more paperwork and my filing system to work to work on finishing later wen the girls go to bed. I even went throught my files and got rid of unnessary or old ones. :) progress!

I'm wanting to get my life tidied up as I enter a new year of my life. I'm a little overwhelmed by turning twenty three this weekend because that was how old my dad was when he had me so I feel weird, old, like I've done nothing in life. I wonder how old I'll be before I start adopting. Hmm. No worries kids.. Being the age my dad was when I was born gives me NO desire to have any kids anytime soon. Lol.

I did decide I want to volunteer at an animal shelter and start doing more animal rights stuff. I've gotten out of animal rights stuff and I feel like I'm doing nothing right now. I'm not giving back and trying to improve the world... Been too lazy and I'm not happy with myself. I love the feeling of trying to improve the world or better people's lives. I feel more myself when I do... And like I have purpose in my life. Wowwww.... Cliche!!

I'm also going to look for a respite job for the side to give me more experince that's required on my resume to apply to university in a few years.

Oatmeal

I've recently become addicted to oatmeal. I got this recipe from a girl's youtube channel and my mom and I both really like it. We've altered the sweetener and such, but it's the same general idea.

Instant rolled oats
Peanut butter
Brown sugar/sweetener/Splenda Brown Sugar/whatever you want
Chocolate protein powder/cocoa powder and vanilla protein powder

YUM! I have it everyday to give me some extra protein for breakfast so I stop skipping it which does NOT help lose weight. My mom really likes it too. B and I had it as his house and he liked it but didn't want the protein powder... so naturally when he turned to talk to his grandfather I put it in. Bahahaha. At least his grandfather laughed. :)

AW is crazy and thought I was gross for eating it. Lol. Granted I used her instant oatmeal that was flavoured packs which just makes it tastier. And I used chocolate syrup since I didn't bring cocoa powder. But it was delicious all the same! And she was so grossed out by my "weird" breakfast. Even told her mom about it. But it's sooooooooo good! And good for you. You get protein from the powder and peanut butter. Essential fats from the peanut butter. Carbs, protein, fat, and deliciousness. Complete breakfast! :) So anyone that reads this should try it once (including AW!!) and tell me that it's delicious.

I have to take my car to Fluff's work in a while so he can fix something before my e-test. I have no idea what things on my car are called even when Fluff, Faja, B, and AW2 all mentioned stuff to me about my car this weekend. I hear mention of parts of a car and tune out. I know I should try to learn some stuff because it's MY car... but I'm lazy and uninterested and I know too many dudes that know how to fix stuff on cars so I don't really HAVE to learn.. therefore I don't. Shame on me! Poor Norton. Ah well, I shall have to leave him at Fluff's work so he can fix it and take it to get e-tested for me. Everyone CROSS YOUR FINGERS that I pass my e-test so I can renew my sticker before my birthday this weekend. I can't go without my car for any length of time. I've become so dependant on my independance due to Norton.

Anywho... think I shall watch the Bachelor with S before we go take Norton away.

-Tee

I won't be posting any further things about B. I seem to have the same issues that Jess had with friends vs man and I thought I could deal with it but as I've spent the evening feeling like I'm going to throw up and crying... Turns out I can't.

And Amb... In that post I didn't mean he guilted me into getting over it. I meant that I was trying to guilt trip him. I don't feel guilty about anything. And that's all I'm going to say right now about your comment. I need to take a bit to digest. It was rather intense. I don't hate you. I'm a little not so happy that you messaged him directly. I appreciate your honesty and I definitely don't hate you but I do see things in him you don't. And I'm not the only one doing dating-like things... He does too. Also I told him only once or twice that I was doing a blog because I was planning on using that as my venting about life and I didn't know if I wanted him or a few others I intend to vent about reading it so I didn't bug him numerous times about it. I don't want to go through your comment and rebuttal everything ad defend him so I'm gonna stop now. Just know that I hear what you're saying.

B - I appreciate that you read them and it's up to you if you continue. I doubt they'll say much about you. I'm not going to apologize for anything I said because it's my feelings and venting, and I'm glad you could see that and weren't bothered by my posts.

That's it for now.

-Tee

Dearest Blog... I'm sorry for neglecting you...

I totally forgot the past couple days that I even had a blog. Which is strangely humorous, since I go onto blogspot everyday to read my favourite blogs. :) Silly me!

So of course after working two days shifts and getting up at 5:30am both days, I... yet again... spent all day of my first night shift sleeping in before work at 1:30pm. So I accomplished nothing! I hate when I do that. I always let myself sleep in a bit on my first night shift, but Boog wanted me to to put him on the bus, so I set my alarm for 7:30am. Shut it off, and reset for 9:00am. Shut it off, and reset for 10:00am, 11:00am, noon. At noon I finally dragged my ass off my couch, as I fell asleep watching the food network :) and started to pack my bag for my overnights.

Since most people are confused by my work schedule, let me un-puzzle that for you...
I work for a nurse... so she has a nine-day schedule.
Day one: 6:15am - 7:30pm
Day two: 6:15am - 7:30pm
Day three: 1:30pm - midnight
Day four: midnight - midnight
Day five: midnight - 1:30pm

So I work day three straight through to day five. The kids sleep while I sleep so it's not as brutal as it sounds, lol. So yeah I packed my bag for my overnights and went to work. Before I left I called my sister and left her a voicemail telling her I'm a complete tool because I was supposed to go over and hang out with her and Turtle before work and I forgot due to my sleeping.

So I missed a chance to hang out with them which sucked since I missed Fluff and MM's birthday dinner last night because I was working so I rushed home after work, but of course BB, TB, and Turtle left as I got there. Sigh.

So I work from now until Wednesday afternoon. And then I get to go home and try to hopefully get some of the basement cleaned up. Then I get to pack and get ready for my weekend!! :) I'm really excited for my weekend.

Thursday monring I'm driving to Belleville to hang out with AW and scrapbook and such with her, perhaps help her take care of the kids and whatnot. Friday I get to hang out with her more and then at 2pm I'm going to pick up B from school and head over to my old roommates apartment to pick up TB's mail from when he lived with her last year. Haven't seen this old roommate since I moved out and we haven't spoken much since it happened so I'm nervous about it. I don't like what went down when we lived together so I'm not thrilled at that part. Then I might drag B with me to get some specific groceries for what I want to make this weekend. I might do that Saturday instead when we are back in Trenton but not sure. Anyway, so B and I will then have a birthday dinner with The Ws. :) It's AW and my birthdays on the 20th and 25th of this month so Maja will be sending a cake or cupcakes with me for us to have after our birthday dinner. :) (** sidenote: Maja and I have a home business of cake design ***SHAMELESS PLUG*** check us out on facebook > Sweet-Tooth Takes the Cake**) So I will be having dinner with The Ws AND B for the first time in a looooooong time. It would take a sorta long post to even begin to explain that, but regardless it's been since before B and I broke up so while I'm looking forward to having my birthday dinner be with a group of my favourite people... I'm hoping it's not too awkward for them to be together. Then after dinner, B and I will head back to Trenton to his house and I'll FINALLY get to see the sequel to 30 Days of Night. Yay me! Then on Saturday I think I'm gonna kick B's ass at Punch Out! and I'll work out with my Jillian Michaels Wii Game (ouch in advance). Then Saturday night we're going bowling for our Valentine's/my birthday date which I'm excited about since we've never gone bowling together and he goes with his friends and I get jealous that I've never gone with him. Which may seem silly but I'm silly. So before bowling we'll make dinner... which shall be vegetarian enchilladas and salad... yum-o! I'm excited for the weekend. Hanging out with AW and hanging out with B is generally a good weekend. Here's to hoping B isn't a tool and there's no arguments to muddle up my great expectations for the weekend.

Well I think I shall go paint tiny hearts on my Valentine's day mani and pedi I've been working on for a while now. French mani/pedi with little pink and red hearts :) I've managed to not bite my nails in about three weeks I think :) yay! That's all folks!

-Tee

Really...?

How hard is it to respond to a message? When someone has spent a really long time writing something heartfelt and important, and taken great care to try to put to paper/computer what's in their head and heart you could at least make an effort to say something in response.

Bah hum bug.

-Tee

"You're killing me, you're really killing me" - Daddy Daycare

I find it really grates on my nerves when people get mad at me for something and then turn around and the EXACT same thing. There's a few people that do this on a fairly regular basis and oh-my-goodness it drives me up the wall and across the ceiling!

But I should just let it go since I told said person what exactly bugged me and I'm trying to not hold on to stuff as long as I used to. I'm brutal for grudges and in the past few years I've gotten so much better at letting things go and attempting to forgive more easily. I still struggle with it, but with much improvement.

However, as much as I need to discuss what bothered me, I find when people aren't receptive to my honesty/explanations, and I get used to them being that way, I tend to shut down and only tell them the bare minimum and bottle it up.

Bottling it up has always been my style, and always to my detriment. In high school I greatly struggled with that and the results were not pleasant. It caused the worst fight I've ever had with LJ and I don't know that it was really as much of a fight with CW but I was furious at both of them. Which in hindsight was dumb of me. I told LJ that I was hurting myself, and she in turn told CW since she didn't know what to do and together they told a guidance counsellor. And then they tricked me into going in to talk to the counsellor for the school board that dealt with that sort of thing. An intervention of sorts. I was PISSED!

Now I know that they did what they felt was best for me and I appreciate it in a way, but I did not like the way it was handled and still don't really. Meh, it's over now. Anyway, that had resulted from my bottling things up that bothered, upset, angered, frustrated me. So now that I haven't been self-destructive in that way for... I actually can't remember since when. It's been that long, which is really good.

So lately when I find myself struggling to explain things to certain people, I'm doing my newer habit in the last few years of crying, yelling, anything to get it out and make them get what I'm trying to say without making them angry or upset with me... and then when that's not working it makes me want to revert back to bottling it up/shutting people out.

This is extremely hard for me to handle because people, including these people are always saying don't bottle it up... THEN FREAKING LISTEN!! Lol. Frig! So that's part of the reason I decided to start blogging again. I figure even if someone is making it impossible to talk to them.. I can at least blog and get it out and get some perspective and get a happy medium between bottling it up and killing myself emotionally trying to tell someone somethings they just are not grasping from me.

One of the things that calms me down when I'm frustrated is this girlie :)

<3 Veronica when she was 9 or 10 wks old










That was probably fairly confusing but in my opinion blogging is more for the blogger than the bloggee?.. reader I guess works. Duh! That's it for now kids... must go track my food for the day on my "healthy new life" profile.... which I'm trying to motivate myself to do. I need a kick in the butt!

-Tee